Yesterday I got an e-mail from an internet buddy asking me what we have decided to do about school?
What to do about Lily's schooling ( and the other girls) has been a
difficult decision and I am still not sure about it. We have struggled
with what to do for a long time.
I wish I had a crystal ball to see what is the best for the girls because
I feel that the decision that we make now is the one that is most important.
Mike says to me
to just choose one option and then if it doesn't work we can change, but I
know that won't be so easy to do. I think once we make the decision going back
either way will be hard to do.
Here are our options:
1. All three girls in first grade in public school. We live just around
the corner from the "best" public school in our district.
2. Homeschool all three girls.
3. Homeschool just Lily.
One is by far the easiest choice. Actually giving me time with just
Jilliana and some time for me for the first time in 5 years. Our public
school is expecting us on Wednesday. They wanted to place Lily in third
or second grade, but I knew that she would not have been able to
handle that at all and would have been totally lost. So I was able to get
them to agree to first grade. I also requested that she not be in the
same class as Emma and Meilynn because I think she needs that. She was
tested for ESL but she passed the test (not sure how) so those services
will not be there for her.
She does not want me to homeschool her and wants to go to school. (She
thinks the grass is greener on the other side.) Maybe if she goes and
sees that she still has to "work" I won't seem like such the taskmaster.
I made her work very hard and there was a lot of crying during our
homeschool sessions. She is also very outgoing and loves people. She
will be easily influenced by other people. She still is learning
appropriate behaviors. But, I still fear she will be lost when the work
starts getting tougher and I can imagine many hours trying to complete the
homework after school while the other girls go off to play. If we
homeschool just Lily I think she will see it as a punishment and not fair.
I think if I do send her off, and then change our minds, again she will
see it as a punishment.
If we choose the second option, I will need to hire some help. There is
just not enough time for me to teach full time and do all the things that
need to get done around here. I love spending time with my girls and I
love seeing them learn, and I am confident that they will make great
progress with me, but to be totally honest I am craving some time for me.
I know that my patience will be tested. I know that Emma and Meilynn
will just excel, but I worry about losing my patience with Lily. I have
done that and it does not feel good. Because of years of never having to
use her brain to do anything, other than survive, (and I know that was not
easy) has made the learning slow and difficult.
Emma and Lily want to go to school and Meiynn wants me to homeschool. Of
course we are not letting them make such an important decision at this
age, but I did want to hear their thoughts.
I like the flexibility of home schooling, seeing them learn, and choosing
what I want my children to learn.
And then there is the third option. I know that she would get further
along with me teaching her but at what cost to our relationship. Will it
make our relationship stronger or weaker? I don't know that answer. I
know she would resent the fact that the other girls get to go to school and
So that is a quick summary of where I am at. I know I left out some
things, some of the most important reasons for homeschooling.
That we are the best teachers for our children.
That we know our children better than anyone else.
The freedom to teach them about God.
I know that the time actually spent learning at school is minimal. That our children can move at a much faster pace at home.
At this moment we are planning on
being at school on Wednesday, but every hour I have a change of heart. I
am afraid it we do this it will be to "hard" to change our minds. If we
go with the homeschooling and then change our minds we will have lost our
place in school and I think it would be difficult for the girls to enter
in the middle of a semester.