Monday, February 06, 2012


one who abandons an attempt, activity, or chosen path

It is official.  Jilliana is a swimming school dropout.  When I last posted she had her first lesson and it went great for what I had expected.  But, when we went back for the second lesson she started crying before she even got in.  I thought she would stop but it only got worse.  She was crying and would not let go of the teacher when she was in the water.  She then began screaming, "I want my Mommy!" over and over.  I have to tell you that I have never had this experience before.  All of my other girls have loved the water. 

The teacher kept trying to work with her, but it only got worse.  She was screaming!  At one point she got out of the pool and tried to run to me.  The teacher cannot have this happening when she is responsible for other children that are in the pool.  I came over and put her back on the edge and she stayed, but she kept crying (loud).  

Then I began to doubt myself.  Was I doing the right thing?  Was this too early for her?  She was still screaming, "I want my Mommy" and reaching toward me.  This is when I really lost it and tears were in my eyes. (She could not see that because I was far enough away.)  I knew if I took her out she might never go back in a pool.  I couldn't wait for the lesson to be over.  My instinct was to go get her, but at the same time my instinct was to let her stay.  I don't want to blame the teacher, but I did feel that she should not be trying to put her under if she was crying so much.  She should have made it about learning to trust her, getting her used to the water, and making it fun.  When it was finally over we chatted and before I could start to explain a little about Jilliana, the teacher said, "She is used to getting her way, isn't she?"  I told her a little about Jilliana and then we left.

I thought if I took Jilliana in the spa every night, took her to watch the other girls take a lesson, and talked about it she might be willing to try again.  We did all of those things and invited Nai, Nai to come watch the night before. Jilliana said that she would swim.  We made a big deal about it and I was hopeful that it was going to work out.  I even bribed her with a sticker book.

So today we went and about half way there she said she didn't want to go.  I got her dressed and then we went in and she continued to say she didn't want to go.  It was time for our class and my Mom and Kami came in.  Jilliana was in my lap and she was not getting out for anything.  We watched the class for a little while and she was holding so tight and crying.  I made the decision that she was just not ready.  I hoped I was not making a mistake, but I just could not do it.

She is a smart little thing and knew I was disappointed.  We went to the front desk at the YMCA and had our money refunded.  We will try again.  But not now.

My little dropout.