The decision really came down to me wanting to be the Mommy for Lily and not the Teacher that she despised. I know that a lot of people that gave me advice felt that I had to do what is best for all three girls. The funny thing is that either way, homeschool or public, it was all about Lily. Emma and Meilynn would do fine either way. I think that Emma and Meilynn would have had a lot of fun with me and learned a whole lot more than they will in the amount of time that a teacher has in public school for each student.
Lily would also have learned more from me, but at what cost to our relationship? While Lily has done great in transitioning into our family, the tension between us because of me pushing her, may have hindered our bonding. She has attached and bonded well with Mike, but to be honest, after some of our school sessions I did not feel all that loving toward her.
I found Lily's Teacher's e-mail on her web-page and told her I would like to tell her about Lily. She responded right back and we set up a meeting time this morning at 7:00. She was great and I think she will be an awesome Teacher for Lily. I told her everything and I think that we will be a good team working together for Lily. She made me feel better about our decision.
While I still have doubts and concerns and I will miss doing the things that I had already planned in my mind. The best thing about our decision is that it is not written in stone and we can make any changes we may need to and next year, well that will be another time of reflection, and decision.
I need to slip in some of our Cape Cod trip over the next few days so since we are talking about homeschool I will leave with these pictures. The girls and I did a colonial unit on our own this summer because I knew we were going to Cape Cod and would visit Plymouth Rock and I was getting the feel for homeschool. We talked about the Mayflower, the Native Americans, and what it must have been like to live at that time. Visiting these things was a great culminating activity and it made it real for them.
The view form the top. The girls learned so much. I was really impressed with Lily when we looked at the corn and she remembered that I had told her the Native Indians used fish to help fertilize the corn. She can really surprise me at times. So this is what was so difficult to give up. I really enjoyed our lessons before and then getting to be there. I know some of you are saying that we can do that with the lessons at school, or supplement ourselves. But, I know that we will get caught up in the school, homework, activity cycle. Remember, I have done this before. Once you start it is hard to stop. I have been reading lately on a few blogs about living simply. I am not sure what it is all about, but I want to find out.
So the girls are all tucked in and clothes and backpacks are laid out for tomorrow.
It is bittersweet.